LizaWasHere

Mr Malaprop

Mommy! I have a woodchuck in my shoe! (wood chip)

Mommy! We built a forch! I'm playing in my forch! (fort)

Mommy! I played with Camel-Tim today! (Hamilton)

Josie is 10 Months Old

Dear Josie,

Tomorrow, you will be 10 months old.

This month, you've become an amazing mimic! You now say Mama(mamamamama) and Noooooo? (usually asking where Noah is) and have mimicked back identifiable versions of "Hello!" and "I love you!" When you hear the word "hurray" or anything that sounds like "hurray!" you immediately begin to clap. You also clap whenever music stops. And you looks so delighted when other people clap with you.

You also sit, almost completely reliably. You don't crawl much yet, but you love to hang out standing, and you've started pivoting and wiggling your way towards objects of interest. This evening you crawled backwards about 5 feet, and were working your way backwards up Noah's dresser when I picked you up.

You are still in the wonderful stage of babyhood where any object can be a toy, especially if the object is unfamiliar. The packaging for your solid foods, my sigg bottle, and any part of your brother's body are popular choices.

You've become very interested in dolls -- maybe you always were, but just found Noah's "Diego" doll. You were so excited by it that when I was at Target, I picked up a baby doll for you. I think she's a hit.

You are such a sweet, smart, beautiful baby. And we love you very, very much.

love,
That Mommy

He Doesn't Like Labels

We're the kind of parents who probably annoy the crap out of non-parents at the grocery store, in restaurants, etc. Not because our kids have huge meltdowns in public, although sometimes they do. And not because Noah runs around like a manic jumping bean, although sometimes he does.

We talk to them all the time. And we say incredibly inane things, which we sincerely mean, like, "Good job!" And "You're so smart!" And "Wow, you worked really hard!" And "Who's cute?"

Of course we say other stuff too, especially now that Noah can communicate mostly effectively. But those phrases still come up a lot.

For months now, in fact, for so long that I can't remember a time when Noah could talk that he didn't respond this way, Noah has insisted, "I am not!" "I am not cute!" "I am not handsome!" "I am not smart!"

We used to sort of blow off these declarations and change the subject.

Today, Noah responded in a slightly different way. First he insisted, "I am NOT smart!" And then he insisted, "I am NOT cute!" "I am NOT funny!"

And then he yelled, "I am NOT ANYTHING!"

Thank god we both heard it. Crystal clear. Noah doesn't have low self esteem, he doesn't think he isn't smart, or isn't cute. He just doesn't want to be labeled. Even in with positive labels.

Hey! I'm Speaking at BlogHer 2009

I'm speaking at BlogHer! I'm going to be on a Room of Your Own panel, Friday 10:30-11:45am. Here's the description of the panel:

Room of Your Own 2: Blogqueers - LGBTQ BloggersQueer bloggers are in every corner of the blogosphere. Sometimes, but not always, their identities bring many issues to their blogging because they write and live through the lens of being queer. Their community is made up of mommybloggers, lifebloggers, craft bloggers, garden bloggers, foodies, business and marketing SMS pros, political pundits, infertility bloggers, literary bloggers, special topic bloggers and bloggers who feel that they don't fit into any niche.

So let's discuss some of the things that come up when blogging, such as: What is the state of the LBGTQ community? Does it meet your needs? Do you feel accepted by straight bloggers in your niche? Do you feel safe enough to blog out of the closet? Have you experienced backlash, and if so what has helped you respond to it? How have you dealt with your partners' and friends' thirst for privacy? And perhaps most importantly, what support do you need to continue blogging with your fullest passion and truest voice? Join Kathryn Martini, Stacy Jill Jacobs and Liza Barry-Kessler as they discuss with you the answers to these questions.

Unfortunately, that's the same time slot as the "MommyBlogging: Have you found your tribe?" session, which includes my friend Bri. But since Kathryn, Stacy, and I are all moms, perhaps our "tribe" will be having a similar discussion as we talk about being out, or not, in your blog. [Ed: Stacy is not a mom. Yet. Whew. I was afraid our panel might be a tad homogeneous. Heh. Pun intended.] And opposite the awesome Paula, who will be talking about bloggers in a post-employee world. Plus, everyone should do as much of The Op-Ed Project with Katie Orenstein track as humanly possible. The Op-Ed Project is great for your writing, your confidence, and all of us collectively changing the world.

Um. Yeah. This conference is going to be amazing! I just wish I could go to all of the sessions. That's all 6 at a time for 2 days. Last time I went, I had a spreadsheet with my top 2 choices for each time slot...and I suspect it's going to be even harder this time.

Wisconsin Summer Vacation Ideas?

If we were going to take a little local vacation in August, where do you think we should go?

• We're looking for an indoor sleeping experience. (Jill has never been camping; this isn't going to be the trip she tries it.)
• Ideally, we'd like to be on a lake, but near a lake is also a possibility.
• Family friendly activities are important. (But could include mostly just hanging out at the beach.)
• Cheap is also important. 
• Within 2 hours of home would be great, but isn't an absolute requirement.

Dear Jill's Job

Dear Jill's Job,

Thank you for providing her with health insurance. Thanks also for covering our children.

But it makes me frustrated and frankly angry that you are a huge national company that fails to provide domestic partner benefits, so I am among the millions of Americans who are uninsured.

Thanks also for transferring her job from Atlanta to Milwaukee.

But if anything will make me go postal, it's the fact that you are SENDING HER AWAY AGAIN. In May, you sent her away from her family for 4 weeks. Four weeks that included Josie's first Mother's Day, and also Memorial Day weekend. You gave us less than a week's notice.

I totally lost it yesterday when you told her that she has to GO AWAY AGAIN IN JULY. Let's review: Gone 4 weeks. Home 5 weeks. Gone 4 weeks.

She is not a member of the armed forces, or otherwise engaged in emergency driven public service. Our family did not sign up for a schedule like this.

We were all excited that you had a job available for her in Milwaukee. Only we actually thought it was IN MILWAUKEE.

Unfortunately, since I am not currently employed, she can't say "eff you!" and walk away. So you haven't lost a valued, award-winning, highly trained 5 year employee.

Yet.

But our family's loyalty to you as an employer took a BIG hit this week. And by big hit, I mean I have none left for you at all. I want her to start looking for something new immediately. And I want to throw things at you. And I want you to come over to my house and help with bedtime involving a 10 month old and a 3 year old. Every night. For 28 nights in a row.

Did I mention that the 3 year old has a poopy diaper within 20 minutes of bedtime approximately 3 out of 4 nights? And screams for more cars/juice/cheese/removal of a suddenly offensive toy for 10-60 minutes after bedtime approximately 6 out of 7 nights? And his sister will fall asleep in the 10-15 minutes after his bedtime, if she is allowed to nurse in silence, but will stay awake for another hour if woken up during that 10-15 minute window?

My head might explode.

Well. That's Outrageous.

I am hating on Jill's job today. Hating.

You may recall that while I was in Florida and my grandfather was dying, they told Jill she was going to have to leave the next week, and be gone for a full month. That was May.

Today they told her she has to go to New York. For July.

Her direct boss is out of town, so she hasn't had a chance to either get details or find out if she can get out of it, but holy crap.

And please understand, she is not in the military. We didn't sign up for a family life that might involve deployment, especially so regularly. This isn't a lifestyle choice that we made as part of something like service to our country.

Ironically, Jill chose the job because it was alleged to be flexible.

We knew moving to a smaller community that the odds of going on a deployment were higher, but we were thinking it would be for a couple of weeks at a time, and that it would be once or twice annually. And while technically this is only the second time in a year, it is also the second time in 5 weeks.

Bath Before Dinner = Bad Idea

Especially if the freshly bathed diner is an enthusiastic and unskilled eater, and the meal is carrot baby food.

 

Also, and at some point I must remember to get photographic evidence of this, the reason the puffs fall into her lap is because she pushes them all over the tray with her middle finger instead of grasping either into her fist or with a pincher grip. It's like...eff you, puff! eff you eff you eff you eff you eeeeeeeeeeffffffffffffff *pop* and the puff flies off the tray.

Noah is 3 years, 4 months, and 9 days old

Dear Noah,

This month, your cousin Maxim turned two, and you turned 3 years and 4 months old.

Mostly, this month was better than the last few. You've gotten better at listening to your mommies, and you don't seem to be quite so actively testing our limits. More like once/day instead of once every 10 minutes. Thank you.

You are adorably sweet with Josie, and when you walk into the room, she lights up like a Christmas tree. You even sing your Grandpa's song for her, "Josephine, Josephine, prettiest girl I've ever seen." You love to hug and kiss her, but you hate it when she touches your cars or books, or rejects a toy you've offered her.

We have entered the age of the malaprop. You insist that your new friend's name is Camel-Tim, for example. I know there are others, but for some reason, I can't seem to think of them right now. You are also in the age of storytelling. This morning, you told me an involved story about a bird hiding from the rain.

You have also transitioned into Big Kids' School, which you seem to enjoy. You get shy at drop off, hiding behind me as I chat with the teacher, but don't want to leave at the end of the day. I think you miss some of your Toddler Class friends. Twice, you've talked about wanting to give Siri some of your strawberry milk. (We have to pack lunch for you all summer. Indulgent Mommy here bought a case of single-serve chocolate and a case of single-serve strawberry milk. You are in 7th heaven.)

What else can I tell you about this month? That you keep getting bigger and taller and more articulate? You've also started insisting on taking baths, but only in tepid water? You are a funny boy, and we love you so much.

Love,

That Mommy

Oh Yeah, I Have A Blog

Josie is in what they call the 9 month sleep regression. That means that while she has started going to sleep at a reasonable time, half an hour or so after Noah most nights, she wakes up pissed off sometime between 1-4am, sometimes yelling and crying for 20-45 minutes.

And then she wakes up and I get up with her at 5 am.

Last night, I was so tired, I fell asleep with her while Noah was brushing his teeth with Jill, and we slept on the chair in the living room for 2.5 hours. Even through Noah saying goodnight. And Jill watching basketball on her computer.

Also yesterday, my boss at this long term temp gig asked me a very interesting question: Would I rather represent people, or do more abstract work? It is a sort of fundamental question in the practice of law.

I'm a little bit scared about representing people. On the one hand, the most satisfaction I've had in my career are the moments where I was able to make a real difference for a real person. I like helping people.

On the other hand, it feels like the stakes are much higher when you are representing people. I think I would have a hard time leaving work at work, and especially when I inevitably have moments of losing or making a mistake, I'm afraid those kinds of personal consequences would keep me awake at night.

If you know me in real life and have an opinion about which I would like better and/or be good at, I would love to hear your thoughts. (Email or comment. Or call.)

Noah had a great mani-pedi weekend. His right foot has blue toenails, the left is red, and two of his fingers on each hand are also painted. One hand has 2 glittery pink fingernails, and the other has a red and a blue. He is especially excited that "we match" since I now have glittery pink toenails.

Even more adorably, Noah has taken to singing the song my father seranades Josie with when he sees her. The lyrics are "Josephine, Josephine, the prettiest girl I've ever seen!" 

We are all going to miss This Mommy again from tomorrow through Sunday, as she goes on a previously planned trek out to spend some time with her parents.