LizaWasHere: Dear Jill's Job

Dear Jill's Job,

Thank you for providing her with health insurance. Thanks also for covering our children.

But it makes me frustrated and frankly angry that you are a huge national company that fails to provide domestic partner benefits, so I am among the millions of Americans who are uninsured.

Thanks also for transferring her job from Atlanta to Milwaukee.

But if anything will make me go postal, it's the fact that you are SENDING HER AWAY AGAIN. In May, you sent her away from her family for 4 weeks. Four weeks that included Josie's first Mother's Day, and also Memorial Day weekend. You gave us less than a week's notice.

I totally lost it yesterday when you told her that she has to GO AWAY AGAIN IN JULY. Let's review: Gone 4 weeks. Home 5 weeks. Gone 4 weeks.

She is not a member of the armed forces, or otherwise engaged in emergency driven public service. Our family did not sign up for a schedule like this.

We were all excited that you had a job available for her in Milwaukee. Only we actually thought it was IN MILWAUKEE.

Unfortunately, since I am not currently employed, she can't say "eff you!" and walk away. So you haven't lost a valued, award-winning, highly trained 5 year employee.

Yet.

But our family's loyalty to you as an employer took a BIG hit this week. And by big hit, I mean I have none left for you at all. I want her to start looking for something new immediately. And I want to throw things at you. And I want you to come over to my house and help with bedtime involving a 10 month old and a 3 year old. Every night. For 28 nights in a row.

Did I mention that the 3 year old has a poopy diaper within 20 minutes of bedtime approximately 3 out of 4 nights? And screams for more cars/juice/cheese/removal of a suddenly offensive toy for 10-60 minutes after bedtime approximately 6 out of 7 nights? And his sister will fall asleep in the 10-15 minutes after his bedtime, if she is allowed to nurse in silence, but will stay awake for another hour if woken up during that 10-15 minute window?

My head might explode.