LizaWasHere

Bakugan & Girls. And Boys.

This is an open letter to Sega Toys Co. Ltd., the company who produces Bakugan. (Aside to Jamila: Bakugan is a game and a cartoon series similar to Pokemon, but with figurines that fold up into spheres and pop open on magnetized cards.)

Dear Chairman Suzuki,

My son Noah loves Bakugan, both the television series and the toys. So we recently decided to purchase the videogame.

One of the things I like about the television series is that there are both boys and girls who are action heroes -- humans and aliens. And there are male and female Bakugan. I applaud your egalitarian programming, and it was one of the things that made me comfortable purchasing the Wii game.

This is what  don't understand.

In the videogame, you can create your own Bakugan Brawler, choosing hair, eyes, clothing, even shoes! Why can't you make your character a girl?

Obviously your game is oriented towards little boys. I understand that. But to not even make it an option, well, I feel badly for any little girls whose brothers are Bakugan obsessed. My daughter is too young to actually play the game, but she watches her brother, and it won't be long before she can play too.

I'll certainly do more homework before I buy any more games from your company.

Bribery

We've been trying to bribe Noah.

One of the things that makes me most likely to pull my hair out by the roots, scream, and generally conduct myself as an exemplary mother is when he says, in his whiniest voice, "I can't do it!" Are you hearing that right? It sounds like, "I caaaaaaaaaaaaaan't DO it!" It usually gets followed up with an "Uuuunnnnngggggh!!!"

It could involve anything from putting on boots to putting away toys to playing a challenging game to writing a letter on a piece of paper -- so not only things that we ask him to do, but things he chooses and often begs to do. (Noah begs to do "homework" which almost always involves either writing letters or tracing numbers and letters. While we are thrilled with all this great pre-reading activity, we aren't pushing it.)

Did I mention that it makes me insane?

On Sunday I began offering a bribe. If he would ask for help instead of announcing he couldn't do something, I'd give him a Bakugan. He earned 5 within the first 36 hours, and 3 more the next day. Even his teacher agreed that he seemed to be doing better with asking for help in a positive way.

Unfortunately, we seem to be backsliding.

The fight to end hideous whining? Bakugan Brawl!

Josie is 18 Months Old

Dear Josie,

Today you are 18 months old. It was your first day at the same Montessori school where Noah goes. You were skeptical about the drop-off process, and got seriously pissed off when you realized I was leaving, but your teachers assured me that minutes later you were settling in like a pro, and you had a great day.

The past month has been another one of those amazing leaps in your development. On the charming and attractive side, you have an enormous vocabulary now, and it grows by a word or two every day. I tried to count your words for the toddler program information sheet for school, and I got to about 50 words.

You squeal with joy when Noah and This Mommy wake up in the morning and you see them for the first time, and if they aren't around when you think they should be, you ask every minute or two, "Noah? Mommy? Noah? Mommy?" And just in case I'm not understanding your question, you point to the place Mommy usually sits on the couch, and in the general direction of the tv, then towards the back of the house where you suspect they might be. I get that joyous treatment when I pick you up from somewhere new, but usually just a demand to be picked up and hugged tightly.

That is the sweet, although exhausting, side of 18 months. Since I came back from being in Atlanta for 2 days, 2 weeks ago, you've clung to me like a cockle-burr. Not only can I not go to the bathroom by myself, I can't even turn my back on you while we're in the same room -- say to look for the tv remote on the mantle, or to adjust the thermostat. If I do, you burst into tears. If I banish you behind the baby gate so I can safely open the oven or wield sharp objects in preparation for dinner, you scream and cry until you're exhausted, then you lie down on the floor and moan with anguish.

Other things you love:

• Noah. Madly and overwhelmingly, you want to play with him, hug him, wrestle with him, and shout his name from the rooftops.
• Running. Outside, inside, in circles, in lines, any time, any place.
• Noah's Stacking Robots. (Hearing you say "robot" is totally adorable!) They make you giddy with glee when you stack them up, and when they fall down.
• Baby. Your pink plastic baby doll. You still love to hug her and to cover her with blankets. And by cover, I mean smother, since you don't seem to care if her feet are exposed, but her head must be completely covered.
• Bakugan. They're Noah's, and you don't especially like it when they open up, you prefer them closed into little balls. But if Noah has them, you must have them too.
• Brushing your 4 teeth. Yes, you still only have 4 teeth. But your oral hygiene is excellent! You are READY for more teeth to populate your mouth.
• The Bath. All we have to say is the word bath, and you are off like a shot, running to the bathroom, gleefully asking, "Bath? Bath? Bath?" You would climb into the tub fully clothed if you could, impatiently waiting for the water and bubbles to fill the tub.

You are so beautiful, my dear, and so smart and funny. And I love you so very, very much.

Love,

That Mommy

Delicious Snow Ice Cream

Noah has been asking to eat snow all winter.

We spent a lot of time discouraging the request, reminding him what kinds of snow are too dirty to eat, and advising only eating snow if it has fallen today or yesterday.

Today, the snow looked amazingly delicious. Huge white flakes poured down like a snowglobe -- we got roughly 4" in 2 hours. And I stuck a big popcorn bowl out on the porch this afternoon, so that we could make snow ice cream after dinner.

Ingredients: Approximately 12" diameter heaping bowl of snow, 1 cup whole milk, 1/3 cup brown sugar, generous pour of vanilla, maybe a tablespoon.

Instructions: Mix together everything but the snow until the sugar is dissolved. Pour over the snow, then fold together with a large spatula until well mixed. Texture will still be flakey and icey, more like granita or shaved ice than traditional ice cream.

Serve immediately. Makes 4 generous servings.

Try not to laugh when the baby complains "Hot!"

Josie Likes Robots. And We Have News!

I got Noah some incredibly cool stacking robots for his birthday. He likes them ok, but Josie LOVES them.

I wish you could hear the sounds she makes when she sees them.

The other cute verbal thing Josie has begun doing involves Noah's favorite obsession, Bakugan. The way Josie says "Bakugan" is indistinguishable, even for me, from her word for nursing. Only context helps. If she's pointing at the TV or at the actual Bakugan toys, presumably that's what she means. If she's tugging on my shirt, sobbing, or clutching my leg, presumably she's after me.

ON MONDAY SHE STARTS AT NOAH'S SCHOOL! In their wonderful, amazing, charming, delightful, educational, healthy snackful, scary grape candy free toddler program. Woot! Woot! Woot!

Here's Noah at a birthday party for 2 brothers who go to school with him. The parents bravely invited all of the children in both brothers' classes. Noah is second from the left, not enjoying the photography process.

And.

We made another offer on a house.

The house in which we live right now.

It is a duplex, and we would continue renting 1 unit, while hopefully insulating and finishing the attic so that it becomes part of the usable space of the house. (Whether that's offices, master suite, playroom, bedrooms, or what, we aren't sure yet.)

In the long run, we'd move into the upper 2 floors and rent the ground floor unit, but until the nice family upstairs insists on leaving, they can stay in their current space. (We might even try to find a way to convince them to stay longer.)

Ok, time to go meet a beautiful precious baby and potential future Smith College classmate of Josie's. And her mother.

We're Crazy Romantics

Today is Jill's and my 7th wedding anniversary; we've been together for 8 years.

We *were* going to go out for dinner last weekend, but with her sprained ankle, we've delayed that. Instead, we had leftovers, popcorn and a drink, and we're watching the Olympics and Kell on Earth (slightly), and I'm blogging while Jill reads.

Crazy romantic, I'm telling you.

Yesterday, after the US vs Canada hockey game, Josie picked up a new word. She saw the athletes all doing that thing where they line up and say "good game, good game" to each other, and she said "Hello!" 30 or 40 times. I so wish her vocabulary could express the rest of what she's got to say.

Noah has no such trouble. He sobbed this morning that he did not want to go to school, school is boring, can't he stay here, he's too tired.

When I picked him up after school, he sobbed that he did not want to leave, home is boring, why can't he stay here, he's too tired.

Also, he's still mad that turning 4 didn't immediately vault him into 4-K. We have tried to explain, but we're failing.

Back from Atlanta

I had a great trip to Atlanta this week, which was marred only by the fact that roughly 15 minutes before I landed in Milwaukee, Jill fell on a piece of ice and severely sprained her ankle.

Jill had been with the kids at "Family Fun Night" for Noah's school, and she wiped out on the sidewalk near where she parked. Fortunately, Josie (who had been in her arms!) was fine, just shaken by the experience. Jill was able to drive home, and when my parents delivered me from the airport, they continued their generous taxi service and took Jill to urgent care. 

Meanwhile, I was lax about bedtime, letting everyone stay up in their pjs, letting Noah watch another Bakugan episode, AND reading to him, AND snuggling with him after Josie fell asleep. It was a nice reconnection with both of them.

Josie was unbelievably well behaved and patient about waiting for "Babboo?" She wanted to nurse within approximately 20 seconds of my walking in the door, but she accepted that we had to help This Mommy first -- and repeatedly accepted that answer for almost 5 minutes.

My trip was amazing. Although there are a lot of people in Atlanta whom I couldn't arrange to see, I *did* see a number of former colleagues, my panel went extremely well -- and I had a great time talking with fellow-presenter James Andrews, and I made it to church. My hosts were wonderfully relaxed, warm, and easy to be with -- and it was so nice to see them.

Why I Haven't Been Blogging

I have a million excuses for why I haven' been blogging, but here's the real reason.

There is, and has been, a lot going on that I deemed "unbloggable." I deemed it unbloggable, not because anything bad is going on, but because there are a lot of different possibilities emerging, and I was worried about how someone doing an internet search on me related to one of them might read the others.

The thing is, they're going to think what they're going to think, and wonder which of the many things I'm up to are "really" what I'm up to, regardless of what I say or don't say here and now.

So, here are the things that have been going on here:

1. We made an offer on a house.
2. It was not accepted; the people had another offer they took instead.

And:

1. I applied for an amazing looking job that if it were local, would be perfect.
2. Who knows what will happen in terms of interviewing, etc. In this economy, they might well get dozens of well qualified applicants.

And:

1. I interviewed for the PhD program in Information Studies last week. The interview went well, I think.
2. I'm having a great time working as  a research assistant. I'm learning a ton, both about research methods, and about how the Internet was developed.

And:

1. Josie will be starting at Noah's school in 2 weeks!!! A place opened up EXACTLY when we needed it to, when she is 18 months old. That's the youngest they take children in their toddler program.
2. I think it will actually make my dropoff routine take longer. Montessori isn't exactly the "walk in the door and hand the child to the caregiver" model of education. Or even the "come in and take your child's outside clothing off yourself" model. They're all about independence. Which means helping Josie learn to get in and out of her outside clothes herself.
3. I'm still thrilled. We all are.

And:

1. Out of the various conferences I've been speaking at, and conversations locally in real life, my law practice is generating clients! I'm working on a very cool project (still unbloggable for the moment) and think I'm going to be working on another one soon.
2. I was interviewed for an article about inclusiveness in the practice of law, in the ABA Journal! (The main national magazine for lawyers.) The physical magazine has a huge picture of me, and a small one of me with Noah.

Noah is 4 Years Old

Dear Noah,

Today you turned 4 years old.

The day started out pretty ordinary: You woke up a little bit cranky, felt better after watching some Bakugan on TV, and then got really crabby when it was time to leave for school.

Your school has a terrific birthday acknowledgment ritual. Around 11 am, we arrived. Most of the kids were already in a circle; the teachers gathered the few remaining. You came and sat down between us, and introduced This Mommy and That Mommy to your friends.

The teacher handed you a small globe, and lit a candle. Then you walked around the candle while the other students sang a song about the earth going around the sun. After each chorus, your teacher asked us to describe what you did when you were a baby, then 1, then 2, and then 3. We showed pictures on the computer and brought some to pass around.

When that was done, the teacher asked for volunteers to share what they liked about you. Several children said they like when you play with them. Miss Marybeth said you were a good eater, but a little bit slow and easily distracted. (We were not surprised.)

Then you (with the teacher's help) blew out the candle.

On the drive home from school this afternoon, you sadly told me that even though you were 4 years old now, you still had to go to nap. I'm not sure I was successful in explaining that only people who turned 4 before school started this year didn't have to nap -- everyone in 3-K naps after lunch, and even though you are 4 now, you are still in 3-K.

It is hard  believe you've been at this school for more than a year. In that year, you've gotten really into coloring, counting (you've gotten to 170 with fairly little help), and writing letters and numbers. You also love riddles and puzzles of nearly any kind.

You can write your name with confidence, and last week, you also wrote the word "MOM." I almost died from pride. On Monday you convinced one of the after school teachers to give you a lesson in letter tracing and a graph to practice writing numbers. You worked so hard on your "homework" of filling in the numbers -- and were so proud to have homework to do.

Your favorite present so far is the red Bakugan ball that This Mommy gave you, but you also like the stacking robot blocks. They're tricky, especially when you try to build with them while in bed or on the couch. Josie likes them too, especially as chewing toys.

I love you, Noah. It boggles the mind that you are already 4 whole years old.

love,

That Mommy

And Then We Had Heart Attacks

Josie took a stage dive off of the changing table today.

She landed headfirst, getting a huge abrasion on her forehead, and a smaller one on her nose.

It was one of those horrible moments, where you turn and see the worst part, but you can't move fast enough to stop it.

I know better.

I shouldn't have left her on the table. I only stepped 2 feet away, to grab a pair of pants I'd set on the edge of the laundry basket. But it was far enough.

I turned my head back just in time to see her hit the floor headfirst.

That rates right up there among the worst moments in my life.

She had a few moments of shock before starting to cry inconsolably, although within about 5 minutes, she'd calmed down considerably and we were the ones freaking out. And in spite of her apparent improvement, we headed for children's hospital within 10 minutes of the fall. 

(Lucky for us, they have an urgent care situated between the parking deck and the ER. Since she was calm and happy, and the giant abrasion on her face was not swollen, I decided to go with urgent. If they recommended ER after examining her, so be it.)

Naturally all she wanted to do in the waiting room was climb on the furniture. But the wait wasn't bad, and Jill caught up with us (she waited at home with Noah for Grandma to arrive) between the nurse exam and the doctor. She got to hold Josie during the exam, ask questions, etc, for herself instead of just translated through me.

Although we're supposed to keep an eye on Josie for the next 48 hours, she seems to be doing ok. She didn't even flinch or pull away when the doctor was pushing the actual abrasions on her sweet little face. And she was walking, pulling on things, trying to climb, etc. Less chattery than usual, but it was a new place and she'd had a short nap.

Poor little booboo.